


immortals

by minheoney



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 15:04:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minheoney/pseuds/minheoney
Summary: Every relationship has its ups and downs, but being mated to Yoongi for the rest of your immortal life as a vampire is no picnic and not a day goes by without a little verbal sparring.





	immortals

_in which you and your mate celebrate a milestone anniversary, but a brutal exchange of sarcasm puts a damper on the party..._

 

The day had come - your five hundredth anniversary. Obviously, this was a milestone human couples would never live to see, but among immortals such as yourself, the feat was rather common. Nevertheless, the event was to be celebrated with a coven of close friends.

“Congratulations,” exclaimed Hoseok with a beaming, fanged smile, handing you a red cooler with a pink bow on the handle.

You didn’t need to open the gift to know it was full of blood pouches on ice. And given that they were provided by Jung Hoseok, a pair of swirly straws was more than likely included.

“Mm, smells fresh,” you gleamed, hugging your fellow vampire and setting the cooler among the other presents; an assortment of different containers carting packets of plasma. Vampires generally didn’t bother with offerings aside from those of sustenance.

Hoseok joined the group on the velvet couches and peered around curiously, eventually asking with a laugh, “And where is the lucky groom?”

Seething at the mere mention of your mate with whom you shared this significant anniversary, you groaned and explained with an annoyed scowl, “He’s still in the coffin. I made the bastard sleep there last night.”

“Ooh, vampire version of crash on the couch, because you aren’t welcome in the bed,” teased Jimin with amusement, rubbing his hands together. Truth be told, he always looked forward to visiting you and your partner the most, knowing sarcasm knew no bounds between the two of you.

You nodded and exhaled, “Exactly.”

Seokjin topped off your glass and snickered, “What did he do to incur your wrath this time?”

“The list just keeps getting longer and longer, but in conclusion, he is a surly, snappy, whiny, obnoxious son of a bitch,” you sneered, preparing to unload all of the inconveniences that came with being mated to Min Yoongi.

Not two seconds after you had spoken, a loud crack resounded through the old house as the familiar coffin door whipped open. The wooden container was kept in the upstairs hallway for sentimental reasons, but when you suggested Yoongi sleep in it, he obliged without hesitation. The bastard never turned down an opportunity to spite you.

While you sipped crimson from a plastic goblet courtesy of Seokjin, you rolled your eyes and called bitterly, “Oh, so you are still alive up there?”

Yoongi appeared in a cloud of dust that stuck to his black hair and dragged his bare feet to the living room, draped in a maroon bathrobe that covered his naked torso, but glimpses of his polka dot boxers were occasionally visible with his movements.

“I haven’t been alive since the day I found you and you sucked all of the joy out of me,” Yoongi deadpanned, gliding into the room without so much as a greeting toward the usual visitors.

None of them noticed. They were accustomed to his behavior after centuries of brotherhood.

“Wasn’t the only thing I sucked, if memory serves,” you retorted under your breath, sipping from the goblet and glancing around inconspicuously.

While the other vampires tried to hide their giggles at the exchange, Yoongi poured himself a drink from the punch bowl of bright red liquid and continued, “Yeah, when was that? Five hundred years ago? Pretty sure that was the last time you ever played with my balls, too.”

You shrugged and crossed your legs, replying, “I didn’t need to impress you anymore. I already had you.”

Yoongi chuffed, “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

For whatever reason, Seokjin felt the need to participate and mocked, “Awe, don’t tell me things are getting a little stale in the bedroom?”

“It’s been half a millennium,” Yoongi screeched, his tone reaching new depths of irritation. “I can barely stomach hearing the sound of her voice anymore.”

Snorting, you countered in a high-pitched taunt, “That’s not what you said when I was riding your face, baby.”

Yoongi scoffed and replied, “How else would all of the neighbors know my name, sweetheart? You saved me the trip of going around and introducing myself.”

You glared and opened your mouth to rebuttal, but Yoongi wasn’t finished...

* * *

Keep Reading : [tumblr](https://minheoney.tumblr.com/post/172284426383/immortals-one) | [wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/552746261-immortals-one) | [asianfanfics](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1333856/1/immortals-yoongi-bts-suga-sugaxyou-bts-sugafluff-sugaxreader-suga-bangtan)

 

**Author's Note:**

> main blog : minheoney.tumblr.com


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